The weight loss gods didn't smite me!

Slowly but surely, I have arrived at my short term goal.

I'm a sneeze away from being back in the 200's, so Nat is going to be extra good this weekend! :D

Weird Fruit Haul

FREE? I'm there.

They had Pummelos, kiwiberries, pomegranates, uglifruits, cherimoyas, blood oranges, kumquats, and fruit punch.

I'm not sure I was supposed to take armfuls of fruit but I went bonkers.

boo yah!

Cherimoya. None of them were ripe yet, so we've got to wait a couple of days

Pummelos! So crunchy! It was hilarious carrying them out of the room because they're so huge, but I am the broke starving student (or at least I play the part well) so the staff left me alone. lol

Kumquats. I ate so many of them that my lips went numb. Pretty acidic, I eat the whole thing. The bitter center doesn't bother me, or the seeds ;P

This is what I had seen at the supermarket for $4. I was curious but not willing to spend that kind of money, so this event was perfect! I got to try them

The most delightful part about the kiwi berry is the blush color. You can eat them whole, but trust me - go for a regular kiwi. The regular ones are cheaper and sweeter. Don't be taken in by the novelty of kiwi BERRY. It's just a small hairless kiwi

When I dumped round 2 of fruit in the car I seriously considered changing my shirt and putting on a hat to go back in and get more fruit. In the end, I decided to leave fruit for the staff who probably weren't allowed to grab until the students had their fill. My school Rocks!!

right before class

So, given that I partied like a fiend on the weekend, I doubt this is the week too. I will weigh in here tomorrow morning anyway and we'll see what the damage is.

In the meantime, this is c25k week 8 which means 28 minutes of jogging. By the end of next week I will be finished with the program, and then I want to jog for distance and speed. I'd like to go for the full 3.2 miles, but I also want to increase my footspeed at the same time. Since I go at about 3.8 (slow, I know) maybe I should continue jogging for 30 minutes, but do 1 minute at 4.0, then 2 minutes at 3.8 and just alternate the entire time. Over 3 weeks, I'll be slowly progressing to a faster pace. I don't want to spend more than 30 minutes on the treadmill, it might feel boring or drawn out. I do miss alternating speeds though.. it was kind of fun to go faster and slower.. I don't know I just enjoyed that part of the program rather than where I am now, going at the same speed for 28 minutes. It was more satisfying.

Winky guy is hilarious. I should tell you he has a name, Steven. Today he was like PUSH IT GIRL!! PUSH IT! XD omg so funny

Today is 'Weird Fruit Day' at school, So they're serving up some free fruit! The only thing they have that I haven't tried is the kiwi berry. I saw them in the supermarket, and they're $4 for a pint! And they look like small hairless kiwis, it's royal failure for them to be so expensive. The other stuff isn't really exotic.. they're going to have pomegranate, pumelo, Ugli fruit, cherimoya (yay), and something else.. I forgot. But at least it's free and I haven't had cherimoya since last summer. I got bored with them, and tired of spending $8 on just one.

peace

Binge/Spring break wrap up

I was watching one of thesiegster's videos today, where he says to post thoughts during, before, or after a binge, and so I am going to write about lunch today.

We went to this Indian restaurant in a neighboring town - a restaurant we only visit for birthdays. It's a buffet, which is already a recipe for disaster. Afterward, my stomach hurt. I felt so full and bloated. I feel awful since then and still now, 7 hours later. What a disaster. Sure, I'm going to forgive myself for stuffing my body like that, but I feel depressed right now and I just want to document that I am not immune. I still have these binge issues, like a sleeping volcano they erupt every so often. I fool myself into thinking I am over it and then they hit me. Birthdays seem to be a trigger. I love indian food, and I know I don't get it very often. I feel full after the first serving, but I always go back for 2 more, and then I am in pain.

The night before that, we had a great dinner.. salad, salmon, pasta.. accompanied by desserts galore. After everyone left the table I had a couple more servings of high calorie, high fat gloriousness. I always hang back after people walk away to tend to the dishes or to socialize on the couch, eyeing up all the desserts. Writing about it makes me feel like.. hjsdhfiuwbg.

Tonight, I ate a big piece of salmon, and while I was eating it I thought to myself "If I don't eat it now, it will be tempting me all week and I don't know how to calculate the calories in it". My weekends are a lot less strict than the weekdays. On weekdays I am on the weekly exercise plan along with being in school where I am way too busy to think about food. I get up in the morning and log in all the food I plan on eating until I get home. Then, I pack a lunch and snacks, and eat as I get hungry.

I did go for a morning jog yesterday, it was lovely. I love sunny days. Today was rather gloomy, so I did some mall walking in the afternoon after lunch. It helped with the stomach ache I had. I was pretty low on energy the rest of the day.

I go back to classes tomorrow. Goodbye, spring break 09'. I didn't go anywhere fancy like my friends did, but I did enjoy the staycation I had at home with the house to myself. I finished a book, worked out, enjoyed my family's birthdays, and got some household things in order.

Weekend plan

The gym is closed this Saturday -.- so, I've decided to try jogging outside again. Tomorrow morning in the park. 2 miles. It's going to be amazing.

I didn't film yesterday in the gym or today. I just felt lazy, plus it's exactly like what I would have filmed the other days. Myself jogging or talking in the mirror. Booooring. But yesterday I was on the elliptical for 1 hour, and today was the last day of c25k week 7. From here on out jogging will be 30+ minutes. Coach Smith hasn't allowed me to live down filming myself in public :P I told him about my online vlogging and my mission.

Alright I have a lot of cleaning to do for this weekend. I may post one last video tonight until the end of the month

Birthdays

Today is my dad's birthday, and earlier this week was my aunt's birthday. I just remembered she's coming over this weekend, which means food galore. Whenever she comes over I give myself a 'free' weekend, and just make good choices, so I may or may not be 199 next week. I'm ok with that.

Are you annoyed that I'm not more focused or driven on making this goal? I mean, I am focused and driven. Look at my gym vlogs. I'm not just kicking butt this week, those vlogs are showing a normal week for me. I don't miss a beat. But I won't DIE if I don't make it immediately.

My dad just came home and is recounting the lunch his students made for his birthday. A detailed recounting.. lol he's such a foodie.

So tonight is Ruby Tuesdays.. they make good Amaretto Sours :d

I may go to the gym one extra day this week just to bump up my calories out. Saturday is the day my aunt comes, and we always go out to a nice dinner, so Saturday morning is a likely candidate for an hour on the elliptical. You know what I like watching on the tele while I'm working out? That dance crew show on MTV. I like looking at their bodies in action. Their muscular, glistening... sweaty... robust.. uhh yeh. Inspiration etc.

Also, there was an account on youtube that had taken one of my videos and reuploaded it with ads on it and I got several messages from friends telling me about it. Has that ever happened to you?

lolerland

{Edit: The picture is really dark isn't it? It says 200.2}

Is that a fucking tease or what?? lol. I'm actually not dissappointed at all like I thought I may be. This just isn't the week it happens.

This next week I am going to increase my calories. On the days that I work out, 2,000. On the days that I don't, 1,700. The fitness center director lady and I had a chat, and I'd like to try it to see where it takes me.

I'm either going hiking or out to a bar tonight. My friend Adriana just turned 21. It just depends on how much daylight is left after she gets out of work.

Aaaaand crap. I forgot today is my dad's birthday. I've got to get him a present

Tuesday

sup? HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! There's no way in hell I'm going out for a beer before this week's weigh in. More 'Gettin' it done' vlogs to come. The story behind 'Gettin' it done':

The winky guy at the gym and I are friends now. His name is Steven. We're both kind of overenthusiastic about exercising. We're there early in the morning and can always count on seeing the other one there. Other people come and go, lose their drive. It's what we say when we greet each other.

"You gettin' it done?"

"Yeah, I'm gettin' it done."

"LET'S GET IT DONE."

It's just the theme of spring break I suppose. Says it all in 3 words. I'm doing what I need to do, and I'm ready to weigh in this week, but I will be a smidgen dissappointed if I'm not there. I'm preparing myself. It's a bit of a stressful weigh in, you know? I want 199!!! I'm doing everything perfectly. I need to lose at least 1.2 from last week to see the number I want. Let me review the positives ahead of time:

-I can jog 25 minutes straight, and I feel amazing after I'm done.

-I feel alive when I sweat

-I eat really well

-Spring is coming, and I'm enjoying the 50 degree weather

-I'm carrying A's in all of my classes

-I've got the cutest dog in the world

-I got organic pears for the price of regular pears this week. Boo-yah!

-I've got head sized boobs. kinda.

-It's a sunny day outside. I'm going for a walk :D

Closer...

You will know before Youtube does.

I haven't been less than 200 lbs in 5 years...

Hi peeps!

I weigh in tomorrow and I expect it to be good. The reason I stop weighing in was because my weight was screwing with my mind, and lordy knows I didn't need that for some time. I took a 16 day break, and am pleased with it. And although I had planned on not weighing in for the entire month of March, I'm finding that I don't need to be staying away from the scale right now. I'm not stressing, I'm enjoying what I'm doing, and.. yeah just happy! I've got to know my mind, and do what feels right for me.

I ran 25 minutes today, so I believe I start on week 7 of C25K this Friday. I timed my running too - roughly a 16 minute mile. A bit below that but I rounded up to 16. I don't know if that sounds slow or fast, probably slow ;P but I'm looking at the prospect of cutting down the time once I am finished with the program. Oprah at the time of her first marathon was running a 9 milute mile, which I'm guessing is fast.

So, I work out early in the morning. I get up at 5 AM and get to the gym between 6 and 7. It works with my personality, I am an early riser and disciplined (when I want to be ;D). The cute guy at the gym has taken to winking at me. lol!! wtf? Every morning we're there. We get it done. "It" being working out and FEELING THE BURN. feel the burn. I nearly turn super saiyan when I am on the weights

ahh gad before my blog takes a weird direction hahaa.. Listen! Next week is Spring break, and I will make a video! I want to show you the gym where I work out

Old memories

I was in the basement digging out old clothes today, trying to find some clothes from last spring that are still wearable, and I found a lot of clothes I forgot I had. Gothic/art clothes that I hadn't worn since high school, or since I began college. In my senior year I was wearing a grunge/ragdoll style. Safety pinned, torn, striped stockings, black boots. I don't think I would go out in public in those clothes again, but I still like looking at them and remember the feeling of wearing them. All of the stuff I used to do, and the good times. It was a happy place in my life in terms of the friendships I had, and I noticed since then that I feel so very disconnected with the rest of the world. I mean I have friends, but not like the ones I had in high school. We had a really strong bond and great chemistry. We've all gone our separate ways and things turned sour. The dynamics changed after I began going to college, and we all moved in different directions. None of them went to college, and this caused some strain between us. I couldn't hang out everyday like we used to. I slowly lost my dark sense of humor and feelings of misanthropy, and blossomed into someone else.

I saw one of them about a year ago at a concert and it was really weird. She had been using coccaine and you could tell how it affected her in the way she talked. It was sad and strange.

The others, one of them works full time in a hardware store. And my old best friend is convinced that he's going to spend the rest of his life in a convenience store, and is fascinated with organized crime.

My best girl friend has drifted off and I don't know what has become of her. People used to think we were gay because we were always embracing. We were just close. She was kicked out of her home when she turned 18 and has been going from job to job since. I saw yesterday that she had tried to call my cell phone so I called her back and got the machine.

I don't regret having let them go because I believe in keeping positive people in your life, but I also don't like feeling out of touch. I think thats why I immerse myself into school and school activities.

But anyway, thats just what I had floating in my mind.

March 4th 2009

I ran for 20 minutes. :D Holy shiot! I ran 1 mile today! I don't know my exact minutes per mile, but I do know I ran 1+ miles

ok so other than that fantastic victory today.. my weigh ins used to be Thursday. At the moment I'm really feeling like I want to weigh in tomorrow. I don't think it'll do me good. I ate more over the weekend, and I haven't been sticking to 1700 or so calories.

At night I am ravenous. Hot tea just isn't cutting it, so I've just been feeding my body. Its asking isn't it? I think I do a lot of exercise. Not as much as Sars, but compared to other people, I am very consistent, and I work hard. I enjoy it. this is how I've been justifying the snacking in the evening. When I run and lift weights, 3 days a week, I don't know how many calories I burn. I assume its less than 500, and just eat as much food as I need to maintain my weight ...ideally. The other two days I sped 1 hour on the eliptical, and I burn between 700 and 800 calories, some of which I replace.

I want to be liberated from the scale, but Its horribly tempting for me to weigh in tomorrow. Should I put water right by my bed so that I take a swig as soon as I open my eyes? Should I just weigh in? What if its bad? It'll drive me insane. Is that what I need?

[edit] I did weigh in, and I was 203. Not bad, I'm actually happy with that.