Sunday

This morning I weighed 222.6. Since April 2009 I have gained 23.8 pounds, and I forgive myself for it. There it is. I can't change it immediately, and I realize that I can't just starve the day before a weigh in and it will disappear. It didn't take me a week to get here and it won't take a week to undo it.

This year my resolution is to lose weight and get healthy, and I have a plan. This plan involves a gift for myself in one year after achieving the goal of becoming healthy. Many people at the gym trot along on the treadmill with an iPod or the equivalent strapped around their arm, and I want one! I can picture it now... an iTouch strapped on me while I frolic along on the treadmill, zoned out into my own little world of entertainment. The workout flies by and then I triumphantly dismount, going about my business wiping down the machine. My face glistening with sweat and the front of my shirt soaked, I give the thumbs up to the camera. Boy do I look slick with that iTouch strapped on my bicep.

They cost around $350 so I will have to save up some. In a year I could slowly put enough money away to have enough by next year to buy this for myself. There are 365 days in a year so if I put away $1 a day or slightly more I'll have enough. Yeah, my plan seems extrinsically motivated right now, but part of the journey is rediscovering that passion for being fit inside of me, and I feel like I'm just about there.

I've come to the conclusion that any food plan works. Some plans I like more than others, but any plan that I stick to works. I like calorie counting, just not everyday. I like to know what I am eating in advance, and I like it to have been prepared and ready to go. My dad has a big sweet tooth and he buys a lot of pie, ice cream, cake, cookies, candy, etc. My sweet tooth isn't nearly as big as his, but the trouble is that these things are always in my face, and don't require any preparation. This is one of my bigger obstacles, and the key is to be prepared.

So this is a little scattered, but I just wanted to jot some things down for today. I found that I really love reading through my older posts and see what was on my mind 1 year ago or more. I don't remember writing any of it, but it's a joy to have access.

alright, so the homework assignment I am taking up is this: What are your weight gain triggers? what have you let slide recently? What can you realistically do right now to get back on track?

1) One weight gain trigger is a lack of structure. When I don't have a set plan of how I will manage my time throughout the day I tend to drift off plan and go with my impulses of how to spend my time. Another trigger is not planning ahead what I will eat. Even during busy times if I don't have food ready to munch and I come home very hungry I grab whatever is easy and begin gnawing.

2) About mid afternoon is when I begin to eat more, and I don't discriminate. It's usually a meal my family has prepared on the weekends that is harder for me to resist. Yesterday I came home hungry after running some errands and my dad has made BLTs, so this is about the time I let things slide, and experience that sense of entitlement- like if I had a big workout that morning, I'll feel that I should have a 'proper' meal (proper being delicious as opposed to healthy) to hit the spot.

3) I can have filling food ready for when I get hungry and there is nothing to grab but what is easy. I would have to prepare this on the weekend, like making a pot of rice and beans for the next few days to come. I've also contemplated but never went through with adding the afternoon workout, which used to be a staple to my fitness routine. It wasn't anything major, just a stroll in the neighborhood to keep my blood moving. It helps with seasonal affective disorder too, which I tend to have during the shorter winter days. In my case for the next week I could do this to keep my mind away from food in the afternoon.

My situation is going to change once I start classes next week. I have a really lovely schedule this semester, and in order to be successful I will need to plan and manage my time well.