Getting down to business

Well Monday I weighed myself after my trip to New York and the scale reflected a seven pound gain. I doubt it's a full 7 lbs and that a portion of it is sodium or whatever, but I am having non scale issues. For example..

• I noticed lately my face is fuller. I can see it and so can my mom.
• Secondly, my size 18 pants are too tight to be comfortable, so I am going to pack them in a bag in my closet, and go back to my 20's and stretch pants.
• I feel fatter when I walk? It might be mental, but I just feel especially blubbery, for lack of a better word. It feels like my ass is wiggling on a sizmic scale
• I'm more self conscious about my body than before too. I know I look better now, but I am also more self critical.

In reality I've been trying to get back on track for the past 10 weeks. Week after week with my 10 percent challenge I would fluctuate within 2 lbs. I try to find the light in this situation, but trust me it's not easy to step on the scale and see the same thing for 8 weeks. Shoot, for some people it lasts 6 months! I can't even begin to imagine. I feel like I have to be perfect in order to have a loss, and perfection isn't feeling so effortless. Shall I go into the excuses? nah, even I don't want to read that. It'd be like listening to a female cat in heat while trying to pull out a splinter.

I've been working more towards a non processed diet again, and on eatin at home. It's cheaper, and I get to work on my cooking skills. Even though eating out or eating prepared foods are easier there are so many unknowns. One of the things that has kept me from eating fast food sucessfully is thinking of the workers spitting in my food. It turns me off immediately- but truthfully, in any prepared dish there is a whole list of unappetizing gunk, and I just want it out of my system.