Thursday

I leave in 3 days now. I've barely got my things packed, but they're all in the general vicinity of my suitcase.

I want to take this moment to proclaim that I have the best mom in the entire world. I can talk to her about anything and she knows exactly what to say. Sometimes my most complex problems only take one sentence from her for me to have clarity. I looooove my mom

Lately I have been searching for love, and the way I have been seeking it out is in religion. I go to both a presbyterian church, and a sunni mosque. When I go to the mosque I wear a head scarf, and I say alhamdullilah! I love to dress up for mass on Sundays, and the pastor is hilarious. I feel warmth and god's presence in both of these places, and I am doing a lot of research to see which one fits me.

So basically, my old obsession with exercise and living healthily has been replaced by an obsession with religion. I read the Qur'an and the Bible constantly.

I was on plan yesterday. Except for exercise I was PERFECT! Eating, water.. <3

blah

No one is updating blogspot anymore, it's sad! I feel I'm losing touch with everyone.

10 days till Moscu. I hate packing. I really, really do. I'm excited though. While in Russia it sounds like we'll be eating a lot of fried food. GROSS. It's what they eat though.

two things that are stressing me with this trip:

1) pickpocketting
2) fashion

I'm having trouble adjusting to being out of school again now. I feel really depressed and lonely because I would see my friends all the time there, and now I'm home, and it's just blahh. I find myself just reading and eating this week. I've been active like with cleaning and walking.. gym etc but I'm not as much on-the-go and I really miss that. Eating isn't where I want it yet.. I'll get there, I'm getting better.

10% Challenge.. I am shocked at how many people are participating.. like REALLY. like oh crap now I have to think of a cool prize to give.

food/gym/videos/mosque

hello internet

I just finished eating a salad.. working on getting my eating habits back to healthy choices, so far it's not a huge sucess overall, but one step at a time. I did go to the gym today though, that felt fabulous. It was exactly what I needed! I felt uplifted and just happy the rest of the day. Again, trying to exercise more in anticipation of my trip to Russia. I need to be strong and energetic for the duration, and not putter out halfway through all of the excitement.

Lifting weights is definitely on the horizon again, I need that strength back.

Videos coming soon... I'll have a lot more time after this coming Monday.

On a completely different note, I'm going to a family dinner at a Mosque this Saturday with some international students, and I can't tell you how excited I am about it! I bought a scarf to cover my hair, as requested. I'm going to be able to talk to people from all over the world, so exciting.

jeebus

my spacebar is broken. Nevermind it's not. When I first got on the computer I had to slam down on it in order to get a space but it seems to have fixed itself. I had such a great mother's day, and I'm ready to get my last papers written, and be done with this semester. The only thing is I've got to focus on my weight a little more. Last week out of nowhere I gained 6 lbs. In one week! How is that posible, I'm not sure, but I want to fix it before it turns into 10 lbs.

Yes, it is time for me to get my act together. Not just in terms of poundage, but this past weekend, I was in New York for 2 days. I was exhausted by day two!! This is what not exercising does to me. I can't afford to be tired in Russia, so I need to exercise a lot in order to have enough energy for the entire trip.

ok, I have a paper to write and an online exam to complete, so I ill write more later.

Last week of classes

Words just fail me at a time like this.

The closest I can come to express how I feel right now is sentimental. Everything is hitting me all at once right now and it's very overwhelming. I'm trying very hard not to cry. This semester, I feel firmly that I have a place in this world, and that I know how I am going to refine ME to help humankind. More than that, I've connected with a lot of people who I know are in my life for a reason. People who I am positive I was meant to meet. It's an incredible experience, and in a unique atmosphere like the one at this school, I am only more excited for what this next year is going to bring. I've been shown a few more mirrors this semester through the people I've interacted with, and I'm liking what I see reflected back at me. I'm growing. I have a better sense of me. I know that I am emerging as a leader. I expect next semester to be doing a lot more public speaking outside of the classroom, and to hold leadership roles in school.

I'm sorry if that's confusing, and that this blog is becoming so much more than weight loss, but the truth is that I am more than my weight, and right now.. losing weight just isn't important to me. Maintaining or slow weight loss is all I want right now.

Thursday & anticipation!

This week at school is African week, and everyday is a different event related to Africa. I can't tell you how much more enriched I feel through this event... yesterday I finally had an understanding for Darfur. I cried. The whole room felt the pain of the Sudanese. The day before I saw how decolonialization was affecting Africa, and why their economy is so poor and dependent on other countries. Today, we are having some dancers from Congo, and I am soo excited for that. My friend Ongala is going to sit with me and tell me about his dance experience. He used to be a traditional dancer in Kenya, and he's one of my closer friends right now in college.

Also, yesterday I was giving blood to the blood bank and the strangest thing happened. I was at about a pint of blood when everything started to go black. I was dizzy, lightheaded, weak, couldn't think.. Then out of nowhere 6 nurses crowded around me and threw ice on me. They made my chair horizontal, and had my head be lower than the rest of my body. I wasn't allowed to leave for some time after that until my blood pressure returned to normal. That's the second time I almost passed out. It's kind of frightening because I didn't know what was going on.

hmm.. my date with Amir is today. excited? a bit. It's also Nabil's birthday, so I have to get him a present! Oh something at Barnes & Noble. He's very religious and I'm not sure what to get him. Maybe a nice journal

I was supposed to weigh myself today but I completely forgot! I was at the computer when I remembered with a mango shake in my hand.. aww crap. tomorrow!

Oh.. also my brother is going to Otakon this year I think it's in July? I saw a wig in his room. Oh god. I can't wait to see the pictures :)

88 degrees

yup. That's how hot it was today. PA is not known for jumping right into summer heat, but it was kind of nice to wear just a thin short sleeve shirt. The dog and I went to the park. He swam in the river and I just walked around.

part 1 of giantic research paper down, 3 parts to go >.>

Yesterday I went to New Jersey with the honors society in my school, and we cleaned up a beach. We collected around 15 lbs worth of bottle caps, straws, plastics etc. Some of our most notable finds were a used condom and a syringe. It was cool to spend an entire day with some of the other members and have interesting conversations in the car. I'd do it again.

tomorrow I send out my application for the visa to visit Russia. Another $190 right there, and then I still have to buy the plane ticket. I'm going to learn about the itinerary for the trip and more cultural things.