Wednesday, April 14, 2010
azucarrrr
I've finally gotten my next 5 lb marker done, this morning I weighed 213.0 so I've lost 10 lbs since winter. Bye bye winter ass!
Friday, February 26, 2010
February 26, 2010
Snowpocalypse hit eastern PA again, and this meant no school and no trip to Penn State main campus. The model United Nations club was going to take a trip there, I was representing UN security coucil BRAZIL, so my spot is vacant, and the $1000 we spent on the trip has dissolved in thin air. Well, it's dissappointing, but what can you do?
The upside of this is that I really, really needed this time to get caught up and ahead with my schoolwork. I don't want to have ANYTHING to do the week the Navajo students come to our school so that I can spend as much time with them as possible. Better yet, I could get ahead with my schoolwork so far that the week I come back after spring break I have nothing to do, that would be wonderful!
My weight has fluctuated up, which is no surprise since I have too many things going on which demand my attention, like studying, clubs, volunteering, transferring to the next school, bills, life basically. I have gained 4 pounds and my goal this coming week is to drink 4 glasses of water per day, ya hurd?? :)
okbye
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Beledi & Saidi rhythm
Belly dancing is my new favorite thing ever. I'm learning to 'open up' my hips, and the result is a soreness in the very tip-top of my thighs and tightening in my core. I am very excited about the new moves I've picked up. It's very addicting, and I wanted to share two of the dance rhythms I've learned about.
Belly dancing isn't the same for all region in the Middle East. There is an Egyptian style, a Persian style, a Turkish style, etc. and all of those countries have different rhythms, kind of like in Latin dance you have the Bachata, Cumbia, Salsa, Merengue, Conga, Tango.. among many others.
When starting belly dancing, usually the songs will be broken down into 4/4 beats. It's simple and flexible. In my last blog I mentioned the Beledi rhythm, which is from Egypt. Beledi sounds like the word belly dance, but it means folk style or country style. It's a very free beat, and you can be creative with it, which is great for beginners who aren't ready for complex moves and choreography.
Saidi is from Egypt too, but the word Saidi is used to describe people from Upper Egypt. The towns are a lot smaller and the culture is quite different, and Saidi rhythm is good for beginners too. Saidi dancing is done with a cane, which to me adds that Egyptian charm to the dance, because Americans picture the Ancient Egyptian Kings and Queens holding canes crossed on their chests, and it's iconic for the Egyptian culture.
This is Saidi:
Orit is from Israel, but here she dances Saidi:
Belly dancing isn't the same for all region in the Middle East. There is an Egyptian style, a Persian style, a Turkish style, etc. and all of those countries have different rhythms, kind of like in Latin dance you have the Bachata, Cumbia, Salsa, Merengue, Conga, Tango.. among many others.
When starting belly dancing, usually the songs will be broken down into 4/4 beats. It's simple and flexible. In my last blog I mentioned the Beledi rhythm, which is from Egypt. Beledi sounds like the word belly dance, but it means folk style or country style. It's a very free beat, and you can be creative with it, which is great for beginners who aren't ready for complex moves and choreography.
Saidi is from Egypt too, but the word Saidi is used to describe people from Upper Egypt. The towns are a lot smaller and the culture is quite different, and Saidi rhythm is good for beginners too. Saidi dancing is done with a cane, which to me adds that Egyptian charm to the dance, because Americans picture the Ancient Egyptian Kings and Queens holding canes crossed on their chests, and it's iconic for the Egyptian culture.
This is Saidi:
Orit is from Israel, but here she dances Saidi:
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Happy Sunday
Today is so bitter cold, I am happy to have gone to my step class and to now be home all cozy with my schoolbooks getting ready to study. I don't want to go outside anymore today! Maybe once more later on this evening to take a shower at the gym because right now we have no hot water. It's just as annoying as it sounds. It gets to be around 11 degrees outside at night, so not having hot water is not fun.
I'm on my third step class, and I already have a sense for the choreography. Not only that, I can keep up with the class without marching in place for about a half an hour. The first class I was confused the entire time, the second class I picked up one or two forms, and the third class, I can definitely tell a huge improvement, and I am impressed with how quickly I picked it up. My body can't necessarily keep up with the workout yet, but I'm definitely doing much better than I did in the beginning!
Bellydance is awesome, we had our first lesson in the beledy style, which is from Egypt! I have been practicing everyday just while walking around the house, and I'm getting a sense for how bellydancing is done, it's almost entirely muscle work, and it's a pretty subtle dance. Our teacher was explaining to us that she always bellydances to elevate her mood, and was talking about the location of the different chakras. The main chakra for women is in the lower abdominal region, and this is where a lot of the dancing comes from. The teacher is very warm and interesting. She's an older woman and there is something very spicy about her and the way she runs the class which makes the whole experience so enjoyable.
I am out of the 220's, and it took me 2 weeks to be able to say that but now I can say that this morning I weighed 219.8. And sure, it's not a huge change, but it counts. I can feel so much of a difference in my energy level, I am feeling strong and healthy again, and it's such a great feeling.
I'm on my third step class, and I already have a sense for the choreography. Not only that, I can keep up with the class without marching in place for about a half an hour. The first class I was confused the entire time, the second class I picked up one or two forms, and the third class, I can definitely tell a huge improvement, and I am impressed with how quickly I picked it up. My body can't necessarily keep up with the workout yet, but I'm definitely doing much better than I did in the beginning!
Bellydance is awesome, we had our first lesson in the beledy style, which is from Egypt! I have been practicing everyday just while walking around the house, and I'm getting a sense for how bellydancing is done, it's almost entirely muscle work, and it's a pretty subtle dance. Our teacher was explaining to us that she always bellydances to elevate her mood, and was talking about the location of the different chakras. The main chakra for women is in the lower abdominal region, and this is where a lot of the dancing comes from. The teacher is very warm and interesting. She's an older woman and there is something very spicy about her and the way she runs the class which makes the whole experience so enjoyable.
I am out of the 220's, and it took me 2 weeks to be able to say that but now I can say that this morning I weighed 219.8. And sure, it's not a huge change, but it counts. I can feel so much of a difference in my energy level, I am feeling strong and healthy again, and it's such a great feeling.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It was time to change
This blog had become stale and I was bored with the background. Green is supposed to be a soothing color, and about this time in winter I really long for spring.
The gym I go to is made for men, and I know because there are mirrors everywhere. At the gym men like to check themselves out constantly and flex their muscles, have you seen them? lol!!! OK studmeister, whatever. Whereas for women we begin to see our image in the mirror and mull over the flaws in our physical appearance. I want to look at my reflection more like a man, you know? It's a more positive approach.
And you know, I used to use this tricep press machine but I never felt like my triceps ever got a workout until 2 days ago. This new machine targets the triceps from a different angle, and I certainly feel the pain!! So sore.
This morning I had a heavy breakfast, went to yoga class, then 10 minutes on the bike, and lastly I went to Step class. Step is so high intensity, the sweat just pours out of you. I don't have the moves down yet, but I definitely know more of the steps then I did 2 weeks ago. Parts of the class I can actually follow along.
I signed up for 2 non credit fitness dance classes at school- Zumba and Bellydance! Zumba is Latin dancing mixed with a workout routine and Bellydance is something I want to try, it's supposed to be excellent for self esteem, core muscle groups, and overall feeling feminine. Finally I get to use the hip scarf I bought about 2 years ago.
I weigh myself tomorrow and I hope to be out of the 220's but if I am not it's ok too because I am taking some sexy exercise classes!
The gym I go to is made for men, and I know because there are mirrors everywhere. At the gym men like to check themselves out constantly and flex their muscles, have you seen them? lol!!! OK studmeister, whatever. Whereas for women we begin to see our image in the mirror and mull over the flaws in our physical appearance. I want to look at my reflection more like a man, you know? It's a more positive approach.
And you know, I used to use this tricep press machine but I never felt like my triceps ever got a workout until 2 days ago. This new machine targets the triceps from a different angle, and I certainly feel the pain!! So sore.
This morning I had a heavy breakfast, went to yoga class, then 10 minutes on the bike, and lastly I went to Step class. Step is so high intensity, the sweat just pours out of you. I don't have the moves down yet, but I definitely know more of the steps then I did 2 weeks ago. Parts of the class I can actually follow along.
I signed up for 2 non credit fitness dance classes at school- Zumba and Bellydance! Zumba is Latin dancing mixed with a workout routine and Bellydance is something I want to try, it's supposed to be excellent for self esteem, core muscle groups, and overall feeling feminine. Finally I get to use the hip scarf I bought about 2 years ago.
I weigh myself tomorrow and I hope to be out of the 220's but if I am not it's ok too because I am taking some sexy exercise classes!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Small Goals
I have a few small goals to help me get through the weight loss process. In the beginning my goal is to break 220, and this morning I weighed 220.0 so I'm right there. After this goal is met they are in 5 lb increments: 215, 210, 205, 200, and so on.
My classes begin tomorrow, I am looking forward to being back, and I've put together my new schedule. This week, my goal is to be at the gym between 6:45 and 7:00 am each morning. I need the time to do everything and not feel rushed. I can have an afternoon workout too after classes are over.
My favorite exercise classes lately are yoga and step. Yoga always calms and relaxes me and even though it doesn't seem like much I get so strong from the poses. Step wasn't something I thought I'd like but I took it anyway and it turned out to be so much fun! It's very military-like and choreographed, more like a form of dancing and all the moves are broken down into quarter-beats.
Well, here I go :)
My classes begin tomorrow, I am looking forward to being back, and I've put together my new schedule. This week, my goal is to be at the gym between 6:45 and 7:00 am each morning. I need the time to do everything and not feel rushed. I can have an afternoon workout too after classes are over.
My favorite exercise classes lately are yoga and step. Yoga always calms and relaxes me and even though it doesn't seem like much I get so strong from the poses. Step wasn't something I thought I'd like but I took it anyway and it turned out to be so much fun! It's very military-like and choreographed, more like a form of dancing and all the moves are broken down into quarter-beats.
Well, here I go :)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Sunday
This morning I weighed 222.6. Since April 2009 I have gained 23.8 pounds, and I forgive myself for it. There it is. I can't change it immediately, and I realize that I can't just starve the day before a weigh in and it will disappear. It didn't take me a week to get here and it won't take a week to undo it.
This year my resolution is to lose weight and get healthy, and I have a plan. This plan involves a gift for myself in one year after achieving the goal of becoming healthy. Many people at the gym trot along on the treadmill with an iPod or the equivalent strapped around their arm, and I want one! I can picture it now... an iTouch strapped on me while I frolic along on the treadmill, zoned out into my own little world of entertainment. The workout flies by and then I triumphantly dismount, going about my business wiping down the machine. My face glistening with sweat and the front of my shirt soaked, I give the thumbs up to the camera. Boy do I look slick with that iTouch strapped on my bicep.
They cost around $350 so I will have to save up some. In a year I could slowly put enough money away to have enough by next year to buy this for myself. There are 365 days in a year so if I put away $1 a day or slightly more I'll have enough. Yeah, my plan seems extrinsically motivated right now, but part of the journey is rediscovering that passion for being fit inside of me, and I feel like I'm just about there.
I've come to the conclusion that any food plan works. Some plans I like more than others, but any plan that I stick to works. I like calorie counting, just not everyday. I like to know what I am eating in advance, and I like it to have been prepared and ready to go. My dad has a big sweet tooth and he buys a lot of pie, ice cream, cake, cookies, candy, etc. My sweet tooth isn't nearly as big as his, but the trouble is that these things are always in my face, and don't require any preparation. This is one of my bigger obstacles, and the key is to be prepared.
So this is a little scattered, but I just wanted to jot some things down for today. I found that I really love reading through my older posts and see what was on my mind 1 year ago or more. I don't remember writing any of it, but it's a joy to have access.
alright, so the homework assignment I am taking up is this: What are your weight gain triggers? what have you let slide recently? What can you realistically do right now to get back on track?
1) One weight gain trigger is a lack of structure. When I don't have a set plan of how I will manage my time throughout the day I tend to drift off plan and go with my impulses of how to spend my time. Another trigger is not planning ahead what I will eat. Even during busy times if I don't have food ready to munch and I come home very hungry I grab whatever is easy and begin gnawing.
2) About mid afternoon is when I begin to eat more, and I don't discriminate. It's usually a meal my family has prepared on the weekends that is harder for me to resist. Yesterday I came home hungry after running some errands and my dad has made BLTs, so this is about the time I let things slide, and experience that sense of entitlement- like if I had a big workout that morning, I'll feel that I should have a 'proper' meal (proper being delicious as opposed to healthy) to hit the spot.
3) I can have filling food ready for when I get hungry and there is nothing to grab but what is easy. I would have to prepare this on the weekend, like making a pot of rice and beans for the next few days to come. I've also contemplated but never went through with adding the afternoon workout, which used to be a staple to my fitness routine. It wasn't anything major, just a stroll in the neighborhood to keep my blood moving. It helps with seasonal affective disorder too, which I tend to have during the shorter winter days. In my case for the next week I could do this to keep my mind away from food in the afternoon.
My situation is going to change once I start classes next week. I have a really lovely schedule this semester, and in order to be successful I will need to plan and manage my time well.
This year my resolution is to lose weight and get healthy, and I have a plan. This plan involves a gift for myself in one year after achieving the goal of becoming healthy. Many people at the gym trot along on the treadmill with an iPod or the equivalent strapped around their arm, and I want one! I can picture it now... an iTouch strapped on me while I frolic along on the treadmill, zoned out into my own little world of entertainment. The workout flies by and then I triumphantly dismount, going about my business wiping down the machine. My face glistening with sweat and the front of my shirt soaked, I give the thumbs up to the camera. Boy do I look slick with that iTouch strapped on my bicep.
They cost around $350 so I will have to save up some. In a year I could slowly put enough money away to have enough by next year to buy this for myself. There are 365 days in a year so if I put away $1 a day or slightly more I'll have enough. Yeah, my plan seems extrinsically motivated right now, but part of the journey is rediscovering that passion for being fit inside of me, and I feel like I'm just about there.
I've come to the conclusion that any food plan works. Some plans I like more than others, but any plan that I stick to works. I like calorie counting, just not everyday. I like to know what I am eating in advance, and I like it to have been prepared and ready to go. My dad has a big sweet tooth and he buys a lot of pie, ice cream, cake, cookies, candy, etc. My sweet tooth isn't nearly as big as his, but the trouble is that these things are always in my face, and don't require any preparation. This is one of my bigger obstacles, and the key is to be prepared.
So this is a little scattered, but I just wanted to jot some things down for today. I found that I really love reading through my older posts and see what was on my mind 1 year ago or more. I don't remember writing any of it, but it's a joy to have access.
alright, so the homework assignment I am taking up is this: What are your weight gain triggers? what have you let slide recently? What can you realistically do right now to get back on track?
1) One weight gain trigger is a lack of structure. When I don't have a set plan of how I will manage my time throughout the day I tend to drift off plan and go with my impulses of how to spend my time. Another trigger is not planning ahead what I will eat. Even during busy times if I don't have food ready to munch and I come home very hungry I grab whatever is easy and begin gnawing.
2) About mid afternoon is when I begin to eat more, and I don't discriminate. It's usually a meal my family has prepared on the weekends that is harder for me to resist. Yesterday I came home hungry after running some errands and my dad has made BLTs, so this is about the time I let things slide, and experience that sense of entitlement- like if I had a big workout that morning, I'll feel that I should have a 'proper' meal (proper being delicious as opposed to healthy) to hit the spot.
3) I can have filling food ready for when I get hungry and there is nothing to grab but what is easy. I would have to prepare this on the weekend, like making a pot of rice and beans for the next few days to come. I've also contemplated but never went through with adding the afternoon workout, which used to be a staple to my fitness routine. It wasn't anything major, just a stroll in the neighborhood to keep my blood moving. It helps with seasonal affective disorder too, which I tend to have during the shorter winter days. In my case for the next week I could do this to keep my mind away from food in the afternoon.
My situation is going to change once I start classes next week. I have a really lovely schedule this semester, and in order to be successful I will need to plan and manage my time well.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
NY con mis pollitos
Me, Shaimaa, Nabil enjoying some Halal food
The Egyptians.
And me. I had so much fun with this group of students. I love them. They've gone home now back to the college dorms, but I broke the rules of the trip and stayed behind to be with my aunt for a little longer. Oops. ;)
And you know, New York has had a clear jump in security since the underwear bomber from Christmas. I got stopped in Penn station and my bag was tested for explosive particles today. I imagine that Times Square is going to be even more strict tomorrow evening. People have already began gathering over there to secure their spots for a clear view of the concert and ball drop. Millions of people from all over the world gather here. It's kind of insane because it gets very packed, and you can't move. If you have to use the bathroom, you can't leave. I won't be going there as originally contemplated, rather I will stay in Brooklyn with family and watch it from TV.
To come full circle to my diet, I have been walking here all day everyday and eating 2 meals and one snack around lunchtime. I skip lunch to save money, and am sure to drink water.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Ok, the truth is..
I forgot what account I made to write in, the password, email, everything.. lol so I will write here :) I don't know if anyone reads this anymore, if ya do ::high five:: if not, I am talking to a wall, which is ok too.
Well, classes finished last Friday, which means I have more time to do as I please. I really slacked this semester.. and still made it out with a 4.0. I suppose I am kind of smart then. Or perhaps my teachers are just extremely lenient and nice.. or a combination.
Well, my weight isn't anything pretty to look at. I weighed myself 2 weeks ago and I was 216.0, so I am approaching a 20 pound gain. I decided that I want to work it out by myself and on my own, because truthfully if I don't have it inside of me to pull out of this mess, then maybe I don't have it at all. I know I do, and I have faith in myself. I know I can.
I put away a couple of my old workout t shirts in a bin in the basement this morning. It is my ever growing bin of clothes that fit me in April at a luscious 198.0 lbs, which are just too snug to even try for. It would be nice to wear them again for graduation, they're nice clothes and I really like them! I also like the pictures of myself from the summer where I was looking trim. When I came back from my trip to Russia I remember feeling so fat in all of those pictures, but now that I look back and compare, I actually looked quite nice, and it would be lovely to be like that again. Luckily, it's only 20 pounds away, and comparatively not too insurmountable of a task.
I went to the gym yesterday and today, and It's been different than the other times I've been there. Let me preface my story by saying that I haven't been to the gym before that in 4 weeks, and have been pie-ing it up like you would not believe. Well, anyway I remember that people working out next to me would sometimes be reading books while on the treadmill or elliptical, and I thought.. how could they concentrate? With the bobbing up and down that you do while working out, how could you stay focused? Well, it's actually a lot of fun!! I finished 'Teacher Man' while on the treadmill, now starting 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn', and the best part is that the time just flew by, I was so into the book. And I remembered how bored I would get on the treadmill before when I would just watch FOX news and CNN playing on the TV screens, and the time would just drag on so painfully slow, I barely could stand 15 minutes. Staying entertained really is key to working the workout.. PLUS I am now able to use my iPod again. It has lots of nice Christmas music on it, I've got Ol' Blue Eyes and Sarah Brightman serenading my workout.
I'll write again soon. If not for the world then just for myself to keep things documented. Have a safe and happy holiday!!!
Well, classes finished last Friday, which means I have more time to do as I please. I really slacked this semester.. and still made it out with a 4.0. I suppose I am kind of smart then. Or perhaps my teachers are just extremely lenient and nice.. or a combination.
Well, my weight isn't anything pretty to look at. I weighed myself 2 weeks ago and I was 216.0, so I am approaching a 20 pound gain. I decided that I want to work it out by myself and on my own, because truthfully if I don't have it inside of me to pull out of this mess, then maybe I don't have it at all. I know I do, and I have faith in myself. I know I can.
I put away a couple of my old workout t shirts in a bin in the basement this morning. It is my ever growing bin of clothes that fit me in April at a luscious 198.0 lbs, which are just too snug to even try for. It would be nice to wear them again for graduation, they're nice clothes and I really like them! I also like the pictures of myself from the summer where I was looking trim. When I came back from my trip to Russia I remember feeling so fat in all of those pictures, but now that I look back and compare, I actually looked quite nice, and it would be lovely to be like that again. Luckily, it's only 20 pounds away, and comparatively not too insurmountable of a task.
I went to the gym yesterday and today, and It's been different than the other times I've been there. Let me preface my story by saying that I haven't been to the gym before that in 4 weeks, and have been pie-ing it up like you would not believe. Well, anyway I remember that people working out next to me would sometimes be reading books while on the treadmill or elliptical, and I thought.. how could they concentrate? With the bobbing up and down that you do while working out, how could you stay focused? Well, it's actually a lot of fun!! I finished 'Teacher Man' while on the treadmill, now starting 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn', and the best part is that the time just flew by, I was so into the book. And I remembered how bored I would get on the treadmill before when I would just watch FOX news and CNN playing on the TV screens, and the time would just drag on so painfully slow, I barely could stand 15 minutes. Staying entertained really is key to working the workout.. PLUS I am now able to use my iPod again. It has lots of nice Christmas music on it, I've got Ol' Blue Eyes and Sarah Brightman serenading my workout.
I'll write again soon. If not for the world then just for myself to keep things documented. Have a safe and happy holiday!!!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
September 1, 2009
My mom reads this now (I have no idea how you found it, mom), so I am no longer going to write in it a whole lot. The truth is that I always felt so invaded when she would read my journal/diary. I have had this one online and although I share a lot with her, including my videos, I need some breathing room where I can just express the thoughts I want to share with friends but not family. I am going to create an anonymous blogspot account, and if you'd like you can follow me there. Message me on youtube @ Coquinat and I will give you the new address.
sorry mom, I need some privacy.
sorry mom, I need some privacy.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
i suck
I put on another 5 lbs in Texas. Total of 10 since my lowest weight ...
I'm going on vacation again tomorrow- this time to Western PA, a place about 6 hours from where I live. My family is going to stay there for about 3 days, to wind down the summer and do some sightseeing. I begin classes again next Monday.
I am feeling so bitter about my predicament with my weight right now. It's pretty frustrating. I hate getting compliments on my weight loss, because it is a work unfinished, and I haven't felt accomplished in that way for some time now. People tell me they admire my willpower and discipline.. what discipline? I am completely sucking at this right now, and I'm losing motivation to continue climbing because it feels like I am running up a muddy and slippery slope. I am either running in place, or if I pause I start sliding backwards very quickly.
I'm going on vacation again tomorrow- this time to Western PA, a place about 6 hours from where I live. My family is going to stay there for about 3 days, to wind down the summer and do some sightseeing. I begin classes again next Monday.
I am feeling so bitter about my predicament with my weight right now. It's pretty frustrating. I hate getting compliments on my weight loss, because it is a work unfinished, and I haven't felt accomplished in that way for some time now. People tell me they admire my willpower and discipline.. what discipline? I am completely sucking at this right now, and I'm losing motivation to continue climbing because it feels like I am running up a muddy and slippery slope. I am either running in place, or if I pause I start sliding backwards very quickly.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
weigh in
I waste a lot of time on the internet.. I read yesterday that the average American spends 8.5 hours in front of a screen per day. Astounding.
My weight is still the same, I weighed this week at 204.4 :) I think I will go back to a monthly weigh in for next month, because it's just depressing me to feel like I am not getting anywhere, when in fact I am making progress.
While on the elliptical this morning I was having so much fun working out! The sweat was pouring and I was just loving being alive. I'm climbing out of the depression I had experienced for the past week. I was thinking while on the elliptical about the boyfriend that I had in high school and how I had initially became bulimic because he said he would find me more attractive if I were thinner. I lost 80 lbs for him, not for me, and then subsequently put on 11o lbs after 'recovering'. I enjoyed being thinner, but I really did it to please him. I am owning up to it now, because it was my decision and I am responsible for myself. I blamed him for a long time, but I think life brings us where it does so that we learn, and I have certainly learned from that experience.
My weight is still the same, I weighed this week at 204.4 :) I think I will go back to a monthly weigh in for next month, because it's just depressing me to feel like I am not getting anywhere, when in fact I am making progress.
While on the elliptical this morning I was having so much fun working out! The sweat was pouring and I was just loving being alive. I'm climbing out of the depression I had experienced for the past week. I was thinking while on the elliptical about the boyfriend that I had in high school and how I had initially became bulimic because he said he would find me more attractive if I were thinner. I lost 80 lbs for him, not for me, and then subsequently put on 11o lbs after 'recovering'. I enjoyed being thinner, but I really did it to please him. I am owning up to it now, because it was my decision and I am responsible for myself. I blamed him for a long time, but I think life brings us where it does so that we learn, and I have certainly learned from that experience.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Gym shopping / workout posture
yep.. but not in the sense that you think of it. I'm going around town getting one week free at every gym! When one free ride ends I go find another. I'm trying out the yoga class tonight..
I discovered that I go through this deep guilt and depression after going to the mosque and it lasts for days. I agree with some aspects and others.. are just not for me. I feel so imperfect with all of the super religious people, so I will not go back again. I need some sort of spirituality though, that I can feel loved and accepted as an imperfect human being. I really loved yoga, I did, and I am in search of the right class. Yoga has an amazing effect on the body and did wonders for my mind and posture when I practiced it regularly.
Speaking of posture, today's workout was amazing! I realized that I was working out with the wrong posture on the treadmill, and I need to keep my back straight and face forward, swinging my arms in order to get the real workout. Holding that handlebar takes away from the workout completely; I wasn't using my leg muscles! My entire morning was wonderful.. I was so completely silly in class though, I have to regulate myself. But after having 3 shitty days in a row, to have such a light, cheery, crazy and carefree morning was incredible and uplifting.
I discovered that I go through this deep guilt and depression after going to the mosque and it lasts for days. I agree with some aspects and others.. are just not for me. I feel so imperfect with all of the super religious people, so I will not go back again. I need some sort of spirituality though, that I can feel loved and accepted as an imperfect human being. I really loved yoga, I did, and I am in search of the right class. Yoga has an amazing effect on the body and did wonders for my mind and posture when I practiced it regularly.
Speaking of posture, today's workout was amazing! I realized that I was working out with the wrong posture on the treadmill, and I need to keep my back straight and face forward, swinging my arms in order to get the real workout. Holding that handlebar takes away from the workout completely; I wasn't using my leg muscles! My entire morning was wonderful.. I was so completely silly in class though, I have to regulate myself. But after having 3 shitty days in a row, to have such a light, cheery, crazy and carefree morning was incredible and uplifting.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Peace and Strength
I am still mulling over spirituality and have been very introspective lately, but I have to tell you, I had an incredible experience last night at the mosque. The people I met and the conversations I had have left a lasting impression on me. God bless them. I definitely felt accepted and embraced as part of the community last night and I saw just how strong and close everyone was. Anyway, I don't want to gush...
My digestion is still out of whack. I will spare you the gorey details, but I think healthy digestion is necessary for weight loss, and I'm still working on it naturally. I feel I am being tested at this point by the lack of loss, but I accept my situation. In fact, I embrace it as an opportunity to grow and to be stronger.
My digestion is still out of whack. I will spare you the gorey details, but I think healthy digestion is necessary for weight loss, and I'm still working on it naturally. I feel I am being tested at this point by the lack of loss, but I accept my situation. In fact, I embrace it as an opportunity to grow and to be stronger.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Getting down to business
Well Monday I weighed myself after my trip to New York and the scale reflected a seven pound gain. I doubt it's a full 7 lbs and that a portion of it is sodium or whatever, but I am having non scale issues. For example..
- I noticed lately my face is fuller. I can see it and so can my mom.
- Secondly, my size 18 pants are too tight to be comfortable, so I am going to pack them in a bag in my closet, and go back to my 20's and stretch pants.
- I feel fatter when I walk? It might be mental, but I just feel especially blubbery, for lack of a better word. It feels like my ass is wiggling on a sizmic scale
- I'm more self conscious about my body than before too. I know I look better now, but I am also more self critical.
In reality I've been trying to get back on track for the past 10 weeks. Week after week with my 10 percent challenge I would fluctuate within 2 lbs. I try to find the light in this situation, but trust me it's not easy to step on the scale and see the same thing for 8 weeks. Shoot, for some people it lasts 6 months! I can't even begin to imagine. I feel like I have to be perfect in order to have a loss, and perfection isn't feeling so effortless. Shall I go into the excuses? nah, even I don't want to read that. It'd be like listening to a female cat in heat while trying to pull out a splinter.
I've been working more towards a non processed diet again, and on eatin at home. It's cheaper, and I get to work on my cooking skills. Even though eating out or eating prepared foods are easier there are so many unknowns. One of the things that has kept me from eating fast food sucessfully is thinking of the workers spitting in my food. It turns me off immediately- but truthfully, in any prepared dish there is a whole list of unappetizing gunk, and I just want it out of my system.Thursday, July 2, 2009
No Hay Nadie Como Tú
Full schedule this week ahead! Really exciting, I could just dance. It's all good stuff. I'd share, but i'm tired.
Eating wasn't so great this week. Seriously, it wasn't terrible but wasn't good either. This has been my best exercise week though. Cool! ^_^ even though I'm still not getting anywhere scale wise, I feel stronger. The weights are increasing at the gym again.. OH by the way I finally said screw it to the shoulder press machine. Syonara! It was always such a pain and I felt so good to just scratch it out from my to-do list. I never really felt like I got anywhere with it and I would always dread the time on this machine. Why not work on my strengths instead of trying to shape up my weaknesses?
So, I've switched it out for a deltoid machine for now, we'll see how that goes.
Eating wasn't so great this week. Seriously, it wasn't terrible but wasn't good either. This has been my best exercise week though. Cool! ^_^ even though I'm still not getting anywhere scale wise, I feel stronger. The weights are increasing at the gym again.. OH by the way I finally said screw it to the shoulder press machine. Syonara! It was always such a pain and I felt so good to just scratch it out from my to-do list. I never really felt like I got anywhere with it and I would always dread the time on this machine. Why not work on my strengths instead of trying to shape up my weaknesses?
So, I've switched it out for a deltoid machine for now, we'll see how that goes.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Gardenning
I'm completely wiped... I wish I could go on a little longer, but I'm seriously pooped. I think I haven't let myself sleep enough lately.
The yard is looking better and better everyday, my whole family is so happy! I can't wait until it's 'done' and I can have friends over for a BBQ and just to chill. There will be plenty of lawn chairs out there for them all to sit and enjoy it!
The yard is looking better and better everyday, my whole family is so happy! I can't wait until it's 'done' and I can have friends over for a BBQ and just to chill. There will be plenty of lawn chairs out there for them all to sit and enjoy it!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
You gotta be you!
Who am I? What are my likes and my dislikes? I have to ponder some questions. I wanna know me, love me, and share me with the world. Some people I just watch in admiration because they are just so open with themselves; they haven't any fear of rejection and are so self-assured. Me too, I want to be there. Losing weight doesn't fix this type of stuff, it takes a different type of change.
One of my friends found my videos online and was asking me about them. And then I shared the videos with another friend, but I've realized lately that I'm kind of bad with talking about my weight loss. I have people ask me for advice, and online it's easy. But... in real life is completely different for some reason. I have less time to ponder and I try to answer too quickly. If I were to write an essay about weight loss, what would I write? How can I convey the little wisdom I've developed about the relationship I have with my body accurately, and in a way that will help the person? I don't want to sound like I am advising someone, I want to make them think.
I'm going to New York all next week, can't wait. I love my dog, my family, friends, and my garden.
One of my friends found my videos online and was asking me about them. And then I shared the videos with another friend, but I've realized lately that I'm kind of bad with talking about my weight loss. I have people ask me for advice, and online it's easy. But... in real life is completely different for some reason. I have less time to ponder and I try to answer too quickly. If I were to write an essay about weight loss, what would I write? How can I convey the little wisdom I've developed about the relationship I have with my body accurately, and in a way that will help the person? I don't want to sound like I am advising someone, I want to make them think.
I'm going to New York all next week, can't wait. I love my dog, my family, friends, and my garden.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday.
I kinda went overboard with food this weekend :P Oh well.
Today was gorgeous weather, and the family went out to the german folk festival. It was wonderful, and I am completely exhausted from the whole thing, so I'm just chilling in my room checking my messages, the newspaper, etc..
This WL journey is my journey. I'm owning it. I've got God, myself, and my family, and that's all I need to make it happen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYLBrFXs8DY
Today was gorgeous weather, and the family went out to the german folk festival. It was wonderful, and I am completely exhausted from the whole thing, so I'm just chilling in my room checking my messages, the newspaper, etc..
This WL journey is my journey. I'm owning it. I've got God, myself, and my family, and that's all I need to make it happen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYLBrFXs8DY
Friday, June 26, 2009
Laand ho!
I've been in a slump emotionally. It wasn't affecting my eating and exercise that much, but it was just affecting my overall self-view. I have a hard time adjusting to being out of school because I don't have many friends outside of school and youtube. I get lonely.. but this week beginning gardenning has helpd my spirit so, so much. I think it's the vitamin D HAHAHA!!! The sun!! I love it. I feel like rolling around in the grass like a moron. I'm also more action oriented lately. You know, when I get depressed it means something in my life needs tweaking, and the tweaking takes action. I don't always know exactly when needs tweaking but being active definitely clears things up for me tremendously.
My mom and I are going hiking tomorrow, and I am soo thrilled. God willing the weather will be just as gorgeous as it is today.. It usually take me so much effort to get her to do stuff like this, so I am pestering her to get her beauty rest :D
Thanks for the book recommendation Kristy, I am going to go look at it at the bookstore this evening and read a few pages.
This weekend I continue my church shopping with a visit to an antiochian orthodox church. I loved the Russian orthodox cathedrals I saw in Russia, they were.. breathtaking, so the next stop is orthodox christianity. I realized.. I felt lost recently because I wasn't feeling strong in Cristianity or in what I had been brought up in. I didn't take religion seriously, but I think as human beings, we have a deeper need inside for spirituality.
I skipped the mosque today because to be thoroughly honest I believe I am simply infatuated with middle eastern culture and maybe not so much Islam. I mean I like a lot of things about Islam, but others... just don't sit well with me.
It's funny, defining my beliefs hadn't seemed quite so important up until recently, but I need to know, and thus I will continue my spiritual search.
My mom and I are going hiking tomorrow, and I am soo thrilled. God willing the weather will be just as gorgeous as it is today.. It usually take me so much effort to get her to do stuff like this, so I am pestering her to get her beauty rest :D
Thanks for the book recommendation Kristy, I am going to go look at it at the bookstore this evening and read a few pages.
This weekend I continue my church shopping with a visit to an antiochian orthodox church. I loved the Russian orthodox cathedrals I saw in Russia, they were.. breathtaking, so the next stop is orthodox christianity. I realized.. I felt lost recently because I wasn't feeling strong in Cristianity or in what I had been brought up in. I didn't take religion seriously, but I think as human beings, we have a deeper need inside for spirituality.
I skipped the mosque today because to be thoroughly honest I believe I am simply infatuated with middle eastern culture and maybe not so much Islam. I mean I like a lot of things about Islam, but others... just don't sit well with me.
It's funny, defining my beliefs hadn't seemed quite so important up until recently, but I need to know, and thus I will continue my spiritual search.
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