You gotta be you!

Who am I? What are my likes and my dislikes? I have to ponder some questions. I wanna know me, love me, and share me with the world. Some people I just watch in admiration because they are just so open with themselves; they haven't any fear of rejection and are so self-assured. Me too, I want to be there. Losing weight doesn't fix this type of stuff, it takes a different type of change.

One of my friends found my videos online and was asking me about them. And then I shared the videos with another friend, but I've realized lately that I'm kind of bad with talking about my weight loss. I have people ask me for advice, and online it's easy. But... in real life is completely different for some reason. I have less time to ponder and I try to answer too quickly. If I were to write an essay about weight loss, what would I write? How can I convey the little wisdom I've developed about the relationship I have with my body accurately, and in a way that will help the person? I don't want to sound like I am advising someone, I want to make them think.

I'm going to New York all next week, can't wait. I love my dog, my family, friends, and my garden.

Sunday.

I kinda went overboard with food this weekend :P Oh well.

Today was gorgeous weather, and the family went out to the german folk festival. It was wonderful, and I am completely exhausted from the whole thing, so I'm just chilling in my room checking my messages, the newspaper, etc..

This WL journey is my journey. I'm owning it. I've got God, myself, and my family, and that's all I need to make it happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYLBrFXs8DY

Laand ho!

I've been in a slump emotionally. It wasn't affecting my eating and exercise that much, but it was just affecting my overall self-view. I have a hard time adjusting to being out of school because I don't have many friends outside of school and youtube. I get lonely.. but this week beginning gardenning has helpd my spirit so, so much. I think it's the vitamin D HAHAHA!!! The sun!! I love it. I feel like rolling around in the grass like a moron. I'm also more action oriented lately. You know, when I get depressed it means something in my life needs tweaking, and the tweaking takes action. I don't always know exactly when needs tweaking but being active definitely clears things up for me tremendously.

My mom and I are going hiking tomorrow, and I am soo thrilled. God willing the weather will be just as gorgeous as it is today.. It usually take me so much effort to get her to do stuff like this, so I am pestering her to get her beauty rest :D

Thanks for the book recommendation Kristy, I am going to go look at it at the bookstore this evening and read a few pages.

This weekend I continue my church shopping with a visit to an antiochian orthodox church. I loved the Russian orthodox cathedrals I saw in Russia, they were.. breathtaking, so the next stop is orthodox christianity. I realized.. I felt lost recently because I wasn't feeling strong in Cristianity or in what I had been brought up in. I didn't take religion seriously, but I think as human beings, we have a deeper need inside for spirituality.

I skipped the mosque today because to be thoroughly honest I believe I am simply infatuated with middle eastern culture and maybe not so much Islam. I mean I like a lot of things about Islam, but others... just don't sit well with me.

It's funny, defining my beliefs hadn't seemed quite so important up until recently, but I need to know, and thus I will continue my spiritual search.